Tis the season for finals everyone! Time to go to that 8 a.m. that you’ve been skipping all semester and hear the *crack* of a freshly open textbook. Now we all know there are stages of preparation for finals week and I’ve taken the liberty to compile those stages properly associate some tunes for your 3 a.m.cram session:
STAGE 1: The Realization
ATTN: Finals start of FRIDAY… just in case you were wondering. So if you have been cruising for this last stretch of classes, this may come as a shock to you and cause a little freakout. Side effects of “The Realization” include excessive drinking, pondering what you are doing with your life, and the discovery of meditation coloring books. (I may be doing one of these right now, I’ll leave it to the imagination)
Song: Twenty One Pilots “Stressed Out”
STAGE 2: The Motivation is Strong with this One
You have now come to the point where you are ready to crack down and study. You have every piece of stationary you own on your desk or taken up an entire table at the UGLy with your books and binders… is that a Hello Kitty notebook I see?
Song: Mulan “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”
STAGE 3: Treat Yo Self
While this tends to be a Reading Day tradition, it could happen at any point during the lead up to finals. You have put in a couple days of solid studying and you feel like you deserve a break. So maybe you take a day to catch up on your latest Netflix binge and then strut your hard-working-self down to Red Lion for a celebratory adult beverage and hit the dance floor.
Song: R. Kelly “Ignition”
STAGE 4: What Have I Done?
Partied a little too hard last night? Still trying to get the smell of Kam’s out of your hair? Rough stuff… Now you’ve missed out on quality time with your study guide and the test is tomorrow. You’re wallowing in your own tears and then getting mad because your tears have soaked your notecards. It’ll be okay, Adele knows your pain
Song: Adele “Hello”
STAGE 5: Going For It
There’s not much you can do now but going into that classroom and do your best. You’ve studied all you can and it is what it is. Now crush that test, wow the audience with that presentation, and do that lab practical so well that even Professor Snape (may he rest in peace) would be proud.
Song: Survivor “Eye of the Tiger”
STAGE 6: GO HOME!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have made it through finals week! Celebrate your victory by crying tears of joy on the way home to cuddle with your cat/dog and tell them all about the awfulness that you just endured. You can now enjoy the holidays and not think about school for a whole month! Great job!
Song: The Chipmunks “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)