1. Name five bands or musicians that you would want at your show?
Stevie Nicks, The Verve, Guns ‘n’ Roses, Dr. Octagon, Enya.
2. Analog or Digital?
Digianal. For obvious reasons.
3. Where would you rather play: Air Force base or a puppet show?
Air Force base. No wait. Mid-air puppetry. Pupair middetry. Can we have tubing with fake blood gushing out of the puppets’ mouths while they blather on about taking Jennifer Connelly shoe-shopping? Gorilla puppets with switchblades and Seikos? A parrot swallowing a ferret? Donkey see, donkey do? To tell you the truth, we’re not really sure. They’re both so far out …
4. Why should anyone come to your show?
If you’re into the little monkey with the top hat and clanging cymbals or just firing semi-automatic weapons, then you might want to consider a Shipwreck show. We will give you anything you want. If you have any sort of fetish, we’ll make all your dreams come true. You can spit at us or stand in the front row buck naked. We really cater to everyone.
5. Is Larry Gates (of Lorenzo Goetz) the sexiest man on earth?
Are you kidding me? The guy is a Bahaman thoroughbred-like Cabana boy. Twelve moons glow in the southern sky for Larry. He gets all the girls. He’s fathered so many of our celebrities’ children. Last I heard he was dating two gals from the Weather Channel. If Shipwreck wasn’t straight, we would want to hold his hand. Forever. All the hot girls want to gaze into his buttery eyes and bite his fingertips.