Half-tongued guitar-god Eddie Van Halen is recording songs for Stephen Spielberg’s new film. Wait, he’s not working on Jurassic Park IV, but rather a film entitled Sacred Sin. And he’s not working with Spielberg, really, just the “Spielberg of Porn,” the “mysterious” (according to his website) adult film director Michael Ninn, known for classics like Double Penetration III, Decadence, and my favorite, the cleverly-titled Sex II. In case you forgot though, the “real” Spielberg directed Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
In other news, exotic dancer/bassist Linda Kay, formely of Lifetime, a hardcore band, has been charged with possessing human remains, including a human hand and six skulls. It’s ok, she was just saving it for the next time Henry Rollins came over for dinner.