Rockabye Baby! has introduced lullabye versions of all your favorite rock songs! Featuring Radiohead, Coldplay and Tool. Umm. And while you might find “Opiate,” a little heavy for your 1-year-old, (“He has needs like I do/We both want to rape you”,) don’t fret, these are all instrumentals.
No such luck with Kidz Bop 10, which debuted at number three last week on the Billboard charts. Featuring songs by Rihanna, Nickel Creek and others sung by wee little tykes, it is far cuter than twinkle bell-ed Radiohead. But subjecting your kids to the Black Eyed Peas’ “Pump It” is much scarier than anything Tool can muster. And even though Bon Jovi’s “Who Says You Can’t Go Home” actually sounds like 4-year-olds wrote it, the long-term consequences of these generic Bop albums on children are worse than you might realize. Number one on the Billboard charts last week? The Kidz older bro, Now! That’s What I Call Music! Volume 22.