buzz: If you could be any animal, what would you be?
Kris Myers: I would like to be a cheetah because it’s fast. I’d probably be a cheetah or a deer.
buzz: But deer get hit by cars so often.
KM: Ah, HEADLIGHTS!!! [laughs] But that’s probably it.
buzz: Alright. What’s your all-time least favorite band?
KM: Aw man, there’s so many bad bands in history … I might say Styx, maybe Styx. Uh … Boy George? Does that qualify?
buzz: Boy George definitely counts.
KM: Boy George or … I would say New Kids [On The Block], but I don’t even consider them a band.
buzz: Aww … I grew up with them…
KM: Soft spot! I never really liked Aerosmith, I can’t stand Steven Tyler.
I just think he’s very annoying. OH, Iggy Pop! Forgive me, I know there’s a lot of hard core Iggy Pop fans out there, but I just never liked Iggy, man. Yeah, I don’t really like Iggy. I was gonna say Pet Shop Boys, but I think they only lasted for so long. What was that song, “East end boys”?
buzz: I mean, I’m a youngn’, so…
KM: Yeah, that was before your time. How old are you?
KM: Eighteen? Yeah, that’s way before your time.
buzz: Yeah, so of course I grew up with the New Kids on the Block stuffed animal of Joey, or whoever the fuck it was.
KM: Ohhhh, Joey McIntyre. Oh my god, Joey. Yeah, it was Jordan or Joey or Donnie? Wasn’t he brothers with Mark Wahlberg? Marky Mark?
buzz: I actually don’t know … I got the Joey doll on clearance when I was a kid because they were goin’ out.
KM: So, when you found out they had girlfriends, did you cry?
buzz: No, I did shed a tear for Backstreet Boys though. I was always
a Hanson girl, I’m gonna stick to that.
buzz: Totally. What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever heard?
KM: Ah man, tough one. “Is that lavender you’re wearing?” That’s a really bad pick-up line. Well, it’s kind of classy.
buzz: You can do better!
KM: How ’bout, Oh, you’re in the grocery store, I got this from My Blue Heaven. She’s getting the ice cream and Steve Martin goes, “You shouldn’t be in here,” and she goes, “Why?” “Because you’re gonna melt all the stuff!” [laughs]
buzz: I hope you’ve used that before.
KM: I wouldn’t personally use it, or haven’t had the time to, since I don’t usually hit on girls at the grocery store, but I might consider that. [laughs] If I just so happen to be in the frozen section with a really hot girl.
buzz: Which probably won’t happen. Maybe a hot mom?
KM: Yeah, they would be flattered.
buzz: What’s the most embarrassing job you’ve ever had?
KM: I worked at the Sesame Street General Store just because I was trying to get with a girl who worked there, when I was probably your age.
I was selling Elmo shirts and stuff like that.
buzz: Did you accomplish your goal?
KM: Well, I did … and then she cheated on me. [Bandmates crack up in the background] My buddies just laughed … such a support group here.
Umphrey’s McGee is playing at the Canopy Club tonight at 8 p.m. and Friday, April 28, at 9 p.m. following a special showing of “The Making of ‘Safety in Numbers'” at 8:15. Tickets are $20.