Temporary peace

In a shocking development, competing online sites www.the217.com and www.smilepolitely.com have agreed to a temporary peace accord. The agreement was reached on the 7th hole of the Blue Course at the University of Illinois’ Golf Course this afternoon.
“This is a proud day for both of these proud institutions,” said WPGU Music Director Tom Pauly, while clutching an empty Miller Lite bottle. “This shit is for real, yo!”
For over two years the websites have battled to be the most-viewed music and entertainment websites in the Champaign-Urbana area. Both ventures have been successful, with each website remaining in the top 2 slots for most viewed for their entire existence.
An exhaustive search for any additional music/entertainment cultural websites in CU was unsuccessful.
The two websites have frequently sparred. Searching the term WPGU on Smile Politely results in articles entitled “Local Music Awards Must Go,” “They May Just Be College Students, but We’re Still Going to Judge them Harshly Cause We’re Washed up Musicians that Never Went Anywhere,” and simply “W.P.G.Poo.”
Conversely, a searching “Smile Politely” on the217 nets only one result: “Huge Douche: The John Hoeffleur Story.”
But, at least for now, it appears any fighting between the online juggernauts has come to an end.
“Like, lets face it, why are we fighting anyway?” asked Seth Fein, editor of Smile Politely. “There’s plenty of room for two fully-staffed cultural websites in a metropolis of nearly 100,000 people. This is a big town, with big balls.”
Fein then ran behind a tree just off the 8th fairway to “…let the old garden hose take care of business.”
He shot a 94.
It’s unsure what this temporary peace accord will mean for the competing businesses. The217 is part of the larger non-for-profit Illini Media Company, while Smile Politely is ran out of the living room of Fein’s two-bedroom apartment on Champaign’s West Side.
“The fact that there is a rivalry between the two sides is a little crazy,” Pauly commented. “Smile Politely is kind of amateur. I mean, how much discussion do we really need on the Olympia Road expansion? Let’s talk about things that matter, like Frattle of the Bands.”
Pauly then whispered “don’t tell Seth I said that,” before sinking a 4 foot putt for double-bogey.
“I heard that!” Fein screamed, from the sand trap he had spent the previous 4 strokes in. “Why don’t you go back and work on your useless restaurant directory!”
Neither party could agree on exact language for the peace accord at the end of the 9-hole golf excursion. In fact, an argument broke out as to whom owed who money for beer.
“Maybe you can just pepper spray me and run away, you ass-hat,” yelled Fein, referring to the infamous ‘pepper-spray’ conspiracy theory from the 4th Local Music Awards in 2008.
Pauly noted that he didn’t even work at WPGU at the time of the supposed incident, and suggested that Fein “…get his head out of his ass and stop re-hashing the past!”
Both individuals we’re picked up by separate parties without finalizing the agreement. Pauly was rushed away in the Euro-trash WPGU van, while Fein motored home in the sidecar of a Ural motorcycle, driven by Mike Armintrout.
Local media experts expect the peace agreement to fail miserably, and credit the original agreement to a drunken haze by both parties.

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